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3 things you need to do when visiting Hollywood, CA

When you're visiting Hollywood but don't want to be a tourist, these are the things you should do...

1. Meet a random guy at a nightclub who happens to be douchey, and he will be because you're in a Hollywood nightclub. Then get invited to an after party in the Hills. Trust me, it's simple. Need a shortcut to this task? Go to the nearest table with bottle service -- find the promoter, and he will invite you or know a guy who knows a guy. Get an uber to said destination, and arrive ready to party, mingle, and talk to the peeps who rented the $10,000,000 mansion for a night because you know the true home owners aren't wasting their time in night clubs.

2. Hike Runyon Canyon. It's located on Franklin and Fuller st. Make sure you put on your makeup and tightest outfit that can be mistaken for swimwear -- you could meet your next first date, or a potential assistant's assistant agent at a boutique agency. You never know in this town.

3. Walk up and down Hollywood blvd so you can get it out of your system. Then never do it again. Only tourists, and cheeseball's hang out on the boulevard.

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